::: Don't show your tears! :::

“Swallow it in girl, just swallow it in. Don’t let them see your tears”

The weekend is drawing near again good people. Like most of you, I look forward to it too. This weekend I thought about the notion of “Big girls don’t cry” and also “Real men don’t shed tears”

I really think our society today is gradually sinking its roots and sapping from the energy of this notion. I know, not all tears are caused by negative emotions. Tears are a way of expressing how we feel.

It is an explosion of powerful emotions.

Now let’s talk about crying as a way of expressing pain and frustration. Charles Dickens in his book “The Great Expectation” said:

“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”

Crying during a sad moment is a way of expressing yourself. I personally think it has a therapeutic effect. You see the society today makes it impossible for people to shed tears. Most people consider it a sign of weakness or very embarrassing. The world is watching, so you don’t have to show your inner self.

“It is a grave injustice to a child or adult to insist that they stop crying. One can comfort a person who is crying which enables him to relax and makes further crying unnecessary; but to humiliate a crying child is to increase his pain, and augment his rigidity. We stop other people from crying because we cannot stand the sounds and movements of their bodies. It threatens our own rigidity. It induces similar feelings in ourselves which we dare not express and it evokes a resonance in our own bodies which we resist.”

Alexander Lowen,

Is it not an inborn thing to cry, why do we fear so much to let go our emotions? When a child is born, the first thing the midwife expects is the first cry, with the aim of activating the baby’s lungs….and if this does not happen, the child is turned upside down, to provoke that first important cry.

The first cry of a newborn baby in Chicago or Zamboango, in Amsterdam or Rangoon, has the same pitch and key, each saying,

"I am! I have come through!  I belong!"

Carl Sandburg

The search for perfection in the world today will be a topic for another day, we all want to look perfect, strong, bold, and beautiful and most of all admired, no one wants an emotional wreck for a friend. The rate of depression today in the world and the western world in particular, is gradually increasing. My opinion is that we lack the “space” to express ourselves, we take everything in, and at the end of the day we break down.

I am imperfect and my flaws are many, I don’t strive to be perfect, I strive to be better.

I am human with all my emotions intact, if you see me cry don’t walk away embarrassed, be brave enough to tell me all will be fine. If you lack what to say just hold my hand and smile. It is normal to ventilate your moment of distress, it helps you heal faster.

You see life has to be balanced. You cry and you laugh!

After the rain comes the sun!

I no talk say make you turn “Bébélala” or “Cry-Cry baby oh”.

 I just say; when you are hurting and you feel like crying, don’t hesitate to do so.

But this is weekend, with plenty of sunshine coming your way, so please put your Ray Bans on, and smile!

Pic.

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